Family and their opinions on your breastfeeding journey

The role family members’ play in your breastfeeding journey can leave you feeling a bit frustrated. Even though I am a registered dietitian and an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC), family members still commented that my baby is “using me as a pacifier” (while he was going through his 6 week growth spurt)!

What came first anyways, breasts or the pacifier? Obviously breasts….should it not be “the baby is using the pacifier in the place of your breasts? That sounds much more accurate to me! What is the problem if my baby wants to “use” his mommy for a full tummy, some comfort, and love, understanding, and warmth? You don’t have a baby just to keep him/her on a schedule that suits you and feed them when you want to. No, your baby is a human being in a new world out of the comfort of your belly and NEEDS you for many reasons, not just for milk. The key is to find a balance that works for you and your baby, but let’s be honest, usually, the baby wins as his/her needs take priority, as it should. I’ll just leave my warm cup of coffee and snack right here, I am coming little baby. Let’s feed you first. I’ll drink my cold coffee, it is okay, I’m used to it by now, by the think of it, I like Iced Coffee, let’s just add an ice cube later. O and while we are on the topic of coffee…yes you can still enjoy coffee, most babies are not sensitive to the caffeine and would not mind if this is the only fix you can have to keep yourself sane. The recommendation is to keep your caffeine intake below 300mg, this is usually around 2-3 cups of coffee per day. Remember that a cup is around 200ml and that there is a difference between a cup and a mug. We as South Africans don’t have time to waste with small cups of coffee and most of us only use mugs. Therefore the recommendation would be 2 mugs per day as a mug is around 350ml.

Instant coffee contains around 125mg of caffeine, where Chicory based coffee contains around 8g of caffeine. Filter coffee has around 184mg and decaffeinated coffee contains on average 3mg of caffeine.

Next up: “He should be in a feeding routine by now” My baby was only 4 weeks old. O my goodness Margret, what routine should that be? Are you having your meals like clockwork every single day? Sleeping at the same time and never waking up during the night…ever? No? Then butt out…

I just loved the next one…my baby was 3 days old. “Are you sure you have enough milk?” mmmm, I am sure that the Colostrum is more than enough to cater to my baby’s needs during the first few days while my body starts producing more mature milk. Come on guys, Colostrum is so energy-dense, while it may be small volumes, this is how it is supposed to be. The tummy of a newborn baby on day 1 can only take 5-7ml at a time. That is one teaspoon Margret, ONE TEASPOON.

O my goodness, it felt as if I should please and explain myself even though I am a specialist in the field of breastfeeding and lactation. This made me realise that if this is the response I get from family, how bad is it really out there. Most families have a Margret or two that is putting doubt in a new mother’s mind that she is not enough, not doing enough or just basically doing the whole breastfeeding thing wrong.

I would love to consult and help more mothers as clearly there is a lack of support in households, families, the workplace, you name it. Some mother and baby dyads just get it right from the beginning and that is great, but some mother and baby dyads need a bit of help to LEARN how to get it right and if you need some help, I have a lot of support to give. And bring Margret with…I can help her too.