The role fathers play in birth and breastfeeding:

I don't know what I would've done without my husband. Honestly, he is my rock and biggest supporter and now, I am proud to say, also a breastfeeding advocate.

I chose to have a water birth with an amazing birthing team. I trusted my midwife with my whole heart and soul, as I knew the needs of my baby and I were her first priority. That saying that “all that matters is that the baby is healthy” makes me furious. There is so much more to labour and birth. What about the mother? What about leaving the mother physically and mentally healthy? What about the microbiome of the baby, delayed cord clamping, the golden hour, 24 hours rooming-in and so much more? We need to shift the focus from short term mentality of delivering a “healthy baby” to a long term mentality that benefits the mother and the baby.

We, as health care professionals should do more to ensure an overall healthy mother and baby dyad. Diagnose Post-partum Depression sooner and not let these mothers slip through the system. Treat mothers as the queens they are.

Luckily, my husband supported my decision to take the midwife route and became an advocate himself, as he saw how we were being treated and looked after and how we benefited by this decision. Without him, I would not have been able to do it. Natural birth is wonderful, yes, but hard work! Imagine running a marathon, maybe two or three in a seven-hour time span. That is how tired you get and stiff you are for the next few days after birth. At least I was in a calm space with dimmed lights and music. That definitely beats the harsh hospital environment other women have to give birth in. I am not dissing the health care professionals that are also working very hard to help mothers to give birth. I am simply trying to make you aware that there is more than one way to give birth and you should do what feels right and are medically possible for you. Knowledge is power and you need to take control of your own birth plan. Everything does not necessarily work out how you have planned and hoped, that is also true, but at least if you know what you would like your experience to be like, you have more power and power is everything during the birthing process.

There is a moment where you think: “I am NOT strong enough to get through this” and that is 100% accurate…you go through a transitional phase were the maiden in you was not strong enough, but the mother in you is far stronger than you ever thought possible. It is the mother in you that is able to take over and carry on until that precious little baby is in your arms, finally. During this personal struggle, your husband or partner should ground you and be your biggest cheerleader. You are truly blessed if you have someone in your corner.

Who was there, holding my hand, rubbing my back, supporting me all the way? You guessed it, my husband. I am so sorry I almost broke your hand dear husband, but you were warned on how NOT to give your hand to your wife in labour prior to birth and you should have listened...

As we chose the natural and midwife route, my husband was able to do skin-to-skin with our little boy within the golden hour when the midwife was busy with me and let me tell you, that is the most precious thing you will ever see and experience. Seeing the bond between them and how your husband just falls in love with fatherhood is wonderful. For the mothers that decided to go the C-section route or had to get an emergency C-section, your story is different from mine, but your experience is none the less also special in your own way and I do hope that you had the experience that you hoped it would be.

We know it takes a village to raise a child, but feeling supported in your home by your husband is an amazing experience, as that is the heart of the village.

A father does not need a bottle to bond with your baby. He can do it while doing skin-to-skin, tummy time, bathing time, reading, etc. The list is endless.

Please take the time to compliment your husband and partner, they also need to hear what a good job they are doing as a new father and how much their support makes a difference in your breastfeeding journey.

#breastfeedingadvocate #midwife #delayedcordclamping #skintoskin